Sunday, February 16, 2014

VAMPIRE ACADEMY: This Movie Sucks


OK, I saw this movie preview for months and said, oh crap a campy "Twilight." SKIP
My wife saw the same preview and said "Vampire Mean Girls." MUST SEE

I lost. We saw. I almost hurled. 

A good example of how better casting, writing, acting and directing were missing. A oversized HOGWARTS wannabe castle as a backdrop is not enough for a movie. 
(Which was true of 1/2 the harry potter films too)

The only reason I am calling this a KID MOVIE and not a BIG BUCKET OF GREASY CHICKEN (as I said I would) this is one of those movies based on a book series with a cult following. This cult following seem to be like so many others that fell in love with something like JRR TOLKIEN decades ago and just druel over anything similar. Similarly, after Ann Rice, people were Vampire crazy and sucked down veins of just about anything they were given. 
Complete Vampire Chronicles (Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, The Queen of the Damned, The Tale of the body Thief)

AND the only reason I am giving this any credit it sort of has that RL Stein quality campy horror at times. So I am assuming teenagers w/o care of acting etc will be happy to watch. 

The whole crushing on the teacher is creepy. It would be less so if the teacher did not seem SO much older than the student. Or if the actor playing that teacher clearly has spent more time at the gym than in acting classes. Arnold got lucky. Rest of you back to class...
The name Stragoi is tarnished. Want to see a great indy horrow film? Watch STRIGOI. I watched it last year on NETFLIX. That is how you do a Vampire movie on a budget!!!

I did like Sarah Hyland (Modern Family) who played both the geeky teen hang on and killer vamp well.  

THE ONLY THING that seemed cool? The possible future episodes. But I thought the same thing with TWIGHLIGHT and lost time and time again....

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